@mayamanion: I've been listening to the official workout station on Pandora for 3 months and I'm still fat, I'm calling bullshit.
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@jimmytorosian: An excerpt from my self help book, "How to Get Rich Quick" Chapter 1: Write a self help book about how to get rich quick The End
@pinupteacher: My cab driver just described Seattle as "Not that horrible of a place." Get that guy a job on the tourism board.
@jwoodham: Every spider has the same powers as Spiderman, yet none of them choose to be superheroes. This is everything you need to know about spiders.