@Kimpulses: I've been reading your Oscar tweets, and America should not vote on things as a general rule going forward.
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@enigmaterics: I can confirm that men and women may disagree on when advice is helpful. In related news, it is warm enough to sleep outside.
@samalmightysam: Maybe Hitler became evil because he was mad that after so many years of lifting his hand nobody high fived him.
@jergarl: Me: IT'S TIME TO SETTLE DOWN FOR THE NIGHT 8yo:*starts playing accordion M: Where did you even get that? 8:*making eye contact* No idea.
@shutupmikeginn: You learn something new everyday. Yesterday I learned eating 29 SlimJims gives me diarrhea. Today I learned eating 28 also gives me diarrhea