@PyrBliss: I've been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.
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@joejwest: [tattoo parlour] ME: I'd like a tattoo as a tribute to my dad. He loved gardening & now he's dead, so maybe like a skeleton mowing the lawn?
@captainkalvis: Him: how old are you? Me: *holding up fingers* this many Him: *frightened* t-twenty five?
@SmithWit: He said the spark between us was gone, so I tasered him. I'll ask him again when he wakes up.