@iNusku: I've been taking my Flintstones' vitamins daily, but I still can't start a car with my feet.
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@foodfacenow: Interview Boss: Greatest weakness Me: Sometimes I answer questions with 90s rap lyrics B: Is that here on your resume M: Whoomp, there it is
@TravLeBlanc: Why is it so hard to find a woman who loves me for me and not the person I lied and manipulated her into thinking I am?
@VeganZebra: *tattoo parlor* ARTIST: What do you want? ME: Surprise me *He tattoos the word 'hiccup'* ME: Why did y- ARTIST: BOO! *the tattoo disappears*