@iNusku: I've been taking my Flintstones' vitamins daily, but I still can't start a car with my feet.
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@Bexdora: INFURIATING COLLEAGUE: Morning people! ME: Morning...you look good... IC: Thanks, I feel good! ME: So much for Voodoo. IC: What? ME: What?
@1Bad_Scientist: Her: Why do you have a copy of 50 Shades of Grey in your bathroom? Perv! Me: Oh. No that's just for when I run out of toilet paper.
@Gooooats: Instead of food, I put a note in my kid's lunchbox that says, "just steal a sandwich from one of the weaker children."