@Tdf41: I've been to Iraq twice and Afghanistan once. Still not as scary as my ex's number popping up on my phone this morning.
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@_ElvishPresley_: Fact if it's mother is trapped under a car, baby adrenaline gives a baby the super strength of eight babies. But that's not enough babies!
@thenatewolf: Guard: what do you want for your last meal? Me: anything? Guard: anything Me: the warden Guard: oooooo he ain't gonna like that...
@ThRealBallsDeep: Sorry I threw firewood at you and yelled "shoo", but with the amount of eye liner you wear, you resemble the raccoons that raided my cooler.
@daemonic3: [interview] What's your greatest weakness? ME: Probably avoiding tough questions Can you elaborate on that? ME: Oh hey look at the time!