@Tdf41: I've been to Iraq twice and Afghanistan once. Still not as scary as my ex's number popping up on my phone this morning.
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@flashember: [Courtroom] Lawyer: It wasn't the fall that hurt you? "No sir, it was...THE GROUND!" *courtroom erupts* *handcuffs are thrown on the ground*
@shawnspree: Is this the movie where a down and out coach is given a chance of a lifetime to turn these nobodies and misfits into a winning team?
@JennyJohnsonHi5: One way to find out if you're old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you're young, if they panic, you're old.
@Probgoblin: The barista can't deal with the man's 'Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee' shirt. Her mouth opens, then closes. The line grows.