@Jake_Vig: I've been told I look like a young Denzel Washington's white neighbor.
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@missekay: Hey guys, remember when you could still refer to your knees as right and left instead of good and bad? Good times.
@rolldiggity: New Parent Idea: 1. Take pictures of you pulling baby out of spacecraft in forest. 2. Hide pictures in attic for kid to find when he's 10.
@Sassafrantz: Don't date guys from the internet. The last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison, he meant prison.
@KngHnryVIII: If God had wanted us to drink in moderation he wouldn't have put wine in barrels. #inspiration