@aedison: I’ve been training my facial muscles to do the nose twitch from Bewitched, and just had a huge breakthrough with the right nostril. Big day.
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@DaddyJew: Cop:alright now repeat after me Me:repeat after me C:no not yet M:no not yet C:stop M:stop C:put your hands in the air M:put your h..
@MrsGoose69: Me: Please can you get my iPad in the lounge? 5yr: I think you should poo without it. I just play with my fingers and sing and stuff...
@AdamTheLobster: [In bed with gf] "Do you have any fantasies?" Yeah, one. You know your friend Sarah, the hot one? "Yes.. why?" I want to hit her with my car