@mahatmatweeter: I've been trying to eat healthier so I ate a vegetarian.
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@TEXASVETERAN: I sing like Sinatra and have the brain of Einstein. I think that's why girls call me Frankenstein.
@AshleyFrankly: Them: Come out with us tonight. You might meet your future husband. Me: Why are you threatening me?
@SortaBad: me: [trying to sound cool] I'm in a punk band cute co-worker: that's cool. What the band's name? me: [looking over desk for ideas] Inbox(29)