@mahatmatweeter: I've been trying to eat healthier so I ate a vegetarian.
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@SeiYoung83: [in HR] We're letting you go because you won't stop referring to going to the bathroom as "live streaming"
@DurtMcHurtt: Goal as a white guy 1)Pay taxes 2)Never say anything that may come across as racist 3)Find something clever to do with my arms when I dance.
@CelebrityChez: Day one of my juice cleanse: I feel incredible! Day two: I have carjacked an ice cream truck and fought the manager of Bed Bath & Beyond.