@mahatmatweeter: I've been trying to eat healthier so I ate a vegetarian.
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@aLunchBox: I hate when fire trucks drive real slow with the siren on. There's one behind me right now. So annoying.
@SamGrittner: If my funeral is open casket my only request is that I have cucumber slices over my eyes.
@LoveNLunchmeat: You can't always get what you want, but if you cry loud enough you'll at least have the satisfaction of making everyone really uncomfortable
@TheRolo: [Walking around the office] *Sees nosepicker* *Hears burper* *Smells gas* Boss: What are you doing? Calculating the..."Gross Margin."