@jackiembouvier: I've been up for 20 hours. There's no way I could perform surgery right now. Mainly, because I have no medical training.
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@notalogin: Almost every branch of science has a pseudoscience associated with it: chemistry and alchemy, astronomy and astrology, math and economics...
@truegritrumble: ME: I'm gonna plug my Twitter handle. WIFE: Please don't. ME: I'm gonna do it *walks to the microphone in front of the funeral*
@waydybee: Met this chinese guy with the surname Shen. His name's Eric. As in Eric Shen. Have him for more than 4hours, call a doctor!
@WildeThingy: Boss "I'm looking for a volunteer." Me *chops off own legs "I can't!" Co-worker "I'm busy, sorry." Me "damn, that's a better excuse."