@PastorBate: I've been washing my hair with Ranch dressing for 13 years because the bottle doesn't say not to do that.
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@TheWeirdWorld: With a dog, you have a glimpse into parenting. With a cat, you have a glimpse into marriage.
@trevso_electric: One day we will look back at the criminalization of marijuana and laugh because we will be so high.
@SufficientCharm: A fun way to give your man a little scare is to ask him, "Do you know what tomorrow is?" and watch the panic set in.
@dsylixec: If you're trying to kidnap me, just wave a bag of cookies and throw it in a windowless van. I will happily and hungrily follow.