@PastorBate: I've been washing my hair with Ranch dressing for 13 years because the bottle doesn't say not to do that.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@hazelmotes1: Ladies, you should know that if I invite you to a movie I'm only after one thing: someone with a big purse I can store all my snacks in.
@iamburtjarvis: [2016, cincinnati zoo. boy falls into the enclosure] other gorilla: something brought a boy to the yard harambe [making a milkshake]: SHIT
@adamhess1: I just bumped into my old headmistress who said how weird it is to see me all grown up now. Surely it would be weirder if I was still 9.