@PastorBate: I've been washing my hair with Ranch dressing for 13 years because the bottle doesn't say not to do that.
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@GonzoVice: There is a huge body of evidence to support the notion that me and the police were put on this earth to do extremely different things.
@heykarlin: I feel bad for the children of Vegans because no one gets found when their picture's on the back of unsweetened organic almond milk.
@Underchilde: Love means never having to say you’re sorry until you've thought up a good excuse.