@WilliamAder: I've been "watching my weight" and, rest assured, it's still there.
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@murrman5: Hello 911. "He's back what do I do?" Brent? "Yes" It's the just the mailman remember "Ok, sorry." Bye "Wait, he put something in my mailbo
@DanMentos: [at funeral] "it was so sudden" really? "yeah right in the middle of rap battle" I thought you said he died of dysentery TERRY: That's right
@squirrel74wkgn: Wife: I told you to slow down. Cop: License & registration, please. Wife (opens glovebox): Divorce papers? Me: Look underneath them.