@KentWGraham: I've carefully avoided a running injury all these years by never running.
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@Book_Krazy: ME: Did you hear Jack & Cindy got divorced and he's dating someone half his age? HUB: Yep. He's livin the dream ME: HUB: His dream not mine
@GashleyMadison: Coworker: What would be your ideal- Me: Sleeping CW: But you didn't let me finish my- M: My answer is always sleeping.
@weinerdog4life: If you're ever attacked by a bear play deaf, be like "I can't even hear you bear"
@HeidiCF8: I'm going to write "I miss you" on a rock. Then throw it at your face. I just want you to know how much it hurts..