@KentWGraham: I've carefully avoided a running injury all these years by never running.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: The kids opened the "private" drawer in my nightstand. Me: THE drawer? Wife: Yeah. Great. There go our Oreos.
@TheMichaelRock: [at interview] Her: In three words or less, tell me why we should hire you. Me: I'm good with numbers.
@Marlebean: If insanity is repeating the same action expecting a different outcome, should I just wait til my kids are in college to clean the house?