@MeetingBoy: I've counted 8 people so far whose New Years resolutions include "loose weight". Can I add spelling to your list too?
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@Super_Cynthia: I sleep with my clothes on and one eye open. Not because I'm scared, but my zipper is broken and I've had too much botox on one side.
@ericsshadow: HER: your phone is exacerbating our problems *i pick up my phone* HER: your behavior is untenable "hold on I'm still googling exacerbate"
@SarahFemme: If your mom still washes your underwear, you're not allowed to have an opinion about anything.
@AbrasiveGhost: ME: What's this bit here? NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your résumé said you were a surgeon ME: My résumé says a lot of things