@MeetingBoy: I've counted 8 people so far whose New Years resolutions include "loose weight". Can I add spelling to your list too?
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@Robert_Beau: HR: You know why you're here? Me: So we can be alone? HR: Your new nickname is a problem. Me: We all have them. HR: Yes, but Sperminator?
@InternetHippo: TRUMP: She’s too scripted HILLARY (reading from teleprompter): Mr. Trump, (voice steadily rising) Adobe Reader is ready to update
@TimJohnish: "I see that you're wearing a black shirt, so I'm going to be extra affectionate today." -Cats
@Just_Lee_: The world is full of terrible people, but there's none so evil as the man who fries bacon right next door to the gym.