@DurtMcHurtt: I've dated a vegetarian, trust me, they put meat in their mouth.
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@WilliamAder: Famous people could rob banks wearing masks of themselves and they'd never get caught.
@Proxic0n: [Date] Me: So what goes in the bowl first, milk or cereal? Her: Trick question, I eat pizza for breakfast. *We just start making out*
@Bexdora: In every teen body-swap film there's that moment where they look in the mirror & are shocked to see an adult. That's my morning routine now.
@david8hughes: [dentist giving me a filling] Me: guh uh hag a hogreg? Dentist stops: what? Me: do you have a boyfriend?