@donjuantip: i've decided to start a new healthier lifestyle. I'm adding cranberry juice to my morning Vodka.
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@PaperWash: *mugger snatching Elsa's purse Elsa: LET IT GO! Mugger: LET IT GO! Elsa: CANT HOLD IT BACK ANYMORE! Mugger: LET IT GO! Elsa: LET IT GO!
@Tmoney68: June 1885 - The Statue Of Liberty arrives in the U.S. in 350 pieces with no instructions. Future IKEA magnate: "That gives me an idea."
@Mikecanrant: 1) Open a Kinkos style office supply store in Bel Air 2) Name it Fresh Prints 3) Make millions 4) Move to West Philadelphia
@LackOfShame: *Goes to bathroom *Reaches down to unzip *Discovers pants have been unzipped for the last 4 hours *Starts wearing underwear