@mrtruthandsoul: I've decided to take some time off Twitter so I can focus on work and, ok, I'm back
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@Ophelia_808: I'm starting to think the guy offering to check for lumps inside his van was not as legit as his cardboard certificate claimed.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Daughter has amputated three dolls in the span of twelve hours. Really hoping our dog is smart enough to stay away from her.
@PorkUrPine: WIFE: look at that couple. He kisses his girl every time he sees her. Why can't you do that ME: I'd love to but I don't know her well enough