@mrtruthandsoul: I've decided to take some time off Twitter so I can focus on work and, ok, I'm back
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@iwearaonesie: Hell hath no fury like a toddler who didn’t really want you to take a bite of the cookie he offered you
@brianbowman73: Interviewer: Name some of your weaknesses. Me: I procrastinate. Haphazard, cantankerous... Interviewer: Strengths? Me: Vocabulary?
@iwearaonesie: girl at the bar: You're funny me *brings her over to meet my wife* Tell her what you said