@AimeeHelene1: I've developed a rash from my wedding ring, which can only mean my body is rejecting marriage.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@FauxFawx: *calls 911* Hey, I found some big guns. *Cops surround the house. I come outside flexing and get shot 263 times.*
@thesupergrobi: Stop telling men beards alone will make women love them when everyone knows they need to play the guitar too.
@PimpBillClinton: The replacement refs pulled a @KimKardashian last night (screwed 53 rich black guys at the same time).