@_Enanem_: I've discovered a magical land through the back of the wardrobe, it's inhabitants are similar to my neighbours, albeit a lot more hostile.
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@OreoSpeedwagon_: Adopt 25 cats and you'll never be alone. Also melt cheese on things. Not the cats though. -me as a therapist
@stereoskyline: Procrastination has taught me how to do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours and 8 hours of work in 30 minutes.
@AndyAsAdjective: Truth or dare? -Truth. Ok, go. -I get sexually aroused by ALF. Okaaaay... -Your turn. Truth or dare? Um...dare. -Put on this ALF costume.
@mijamtweets: Someone asked where I'm from and I said Wisconsin. She got excited, "Like That '70s Show!" and I clarified, "More like Making a Murderer."