@_Enanem_: I've discovered a magical land through the back of the wardrobe, it's inhabitants are similar to my neighbours, albeit a lot more hostile.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JohnLyonTweets: I like to walk up to strangers and ask, "Would you take a photo of me?" If they say yes I hand them a photo of me and walk away.
@KamaroPayne: My kids are gone for the WHOLE day. nnI miss them SO much, I can barely bring myself to pop this 3rd bottle of Champagne.
@jake_lach: Holy shit. I just realized this sales kid is treating me this way because he thinks I'm old