@ThePocketJustin: I've done all the cleaning and ironing but I've forgot why I broke into this house in the first place.
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@jordan_stratton: Remember, kids: Never get in cars with strangers unless you've used an app to select a specific stranger to drive you around in their car
@girlontapas: My Cinderella story is backward. I started out a princess. Got drunk and lost a shoe when I met a handsome guy. Now I scrub the floors.
@OutOnTheMoors: Since my wish is to be cremated rather than buried, I'd like the legend on the urn to read: "Well done".