@JasonLastname: I've done hundreds of crossword puzzles over the years, but just this morning I noticed they provide clues.
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@sweet_toof: Go see American Sniper. Or go to your buddy's house and watch him play Call of Duty for two hours
@theshantilly: My dog tried to kill someone for talking to me, which is basically the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I love the Olympics, but missing Dateline due to the Olympics sucks. One of these athletes better end up being a serial killer or something.
@jakob_huber: Barista: I have a latte for *3 second long screeching noise* Velociraptor: Actually it's *4 second long screeching noise* but close enough