@BlairLoudly: I've easily spent 12% of my life chuckling at my own jokes and being grossed out by my own body. Also, I like random percentages.
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@TheAlexP: Does it make you an acrobat if you get suspended from the chandelier by your drawers after falling over the 2nd floor railing?
@theshamingofjay: Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is my favorite story about how you will get treated like shit until you have something someone else needs
@PaigeKellerman: I'm never a more ineffective parent than when I accidentally make threats that rhyme.