@Lakelandr: I've eaten enough chinese food in my day that my fortune cookies have started to contradict one another
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@GrowlyGrego: Is there a Twitter acronym for "Ur screenshot tweet is really funny, but my anxiety about ur phone battery % prevents me from enjoying it"?
@thatdutchperson: Me: sorry I can't go to the farmer's market with you. Allergies. Friend: pollen? Me: hipsters.
@Tmoney68: Every day, I hope I don't get bitten by a spider. I'm not afraid of spiders, I just don't want the responsibility of being a superhero.
@mikescollins: Just convinced my Mom she won't get Wolf of Wall Street if she doesn't see Teen Wolf first. Please play along.