@cheeky__gal: I've finally decided to do something about my weight ... lie.
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@radtoria: Hey baby, do you like tan lines? Because I fell asleep with a badminton racquet on my face again and
@KenJennings: If you're a vegan who ran a marathon & got your dogs from a shelter, how do you decide which thing to wedge into the conversation first?
@Jandalize: Got excited because I found $20 in the laundry. Then I remembered my kids don't have jobs and the money was probably mine.
@trevso_electric: Filming my own version of "Taken" using cats. My cat will play Liam Neeson and the red dot from a laser pointer is his daughter.