@o__0Dev: I've finally figured out why I can’t lose this extra weight. The shampoo I use in shower that runs down my body says, “4 extra volume & body
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@krakkenlackin: "You are what you eat" I chant furiously, shoving another roach in my mouth. Mushroom clouds keep growing in the distance
@stevemarriott: [McDonalds board meeting] CEO: We need some mascots that cater to children. Kids love clowns, criminals and eggplants right?
@Betfairpoker: I had a fight once. "You should see the other guy!" I said. My wife agreed. She's been seeing him for years now, they're a lovely couple.