@CanadianCyn: I've found a diner. Or maybe it's a house. Either way this little old lady is cooking me breakfast.
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@somecleverthing: Turtleneck pro: if you wear one while you're eating you can't get crumbs in your bra. Turtleneck con: see above.
@dafloydsta: [on a first date] Me: So do you like puppies? Her: Oh I love them Me: Ok, so we'll both have the puppies Waiter: Excellent choice, sir
@mattytalks: I was fired from my job at the sperm bank for saying "get a load of this guy" every time someone walked in