@SeagullCharlie: I've got 66 problems and being upside-down is one.
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@AmishPornStar1: Pro Tip: You can disable the surveillance camera in your microwave by heating a metal fork on the high setting for 7 minutes.
@jenniferfralic: Everyone at my funeral gets a stun gun. The last person standing gets all my stuff.
@causticbob: If my iPod doesn't work in the next few minutes, I'm throwing it in the river. It can either sync or swim.