@SeagullCharlie: I've got 66 problems and being upside-down is one.
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@combatacademysd: To me, being Single means never having to apologize.. Unless someone drops by my disgusting house unannounced
@Xalqee: If alcohol kills millions of brain cells, how come it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
@causticbob: Illegal immigration is not a new problem. Native Americans used to call it "White People"
@dave_cactus: ME: I quit texting and driving after the accident. HER: Were you hurt? [flashback to 12 hot dogs rolling off the dashboard] ME: So hurt.