@Jesssicle: I've got 99 problems, which really bothers me since I've also got OCD and I prefer even numbers.
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@GrabTheWEness: If goldfish crackers actually tasted like goldfish-- wait, I just realized I've never tasted a goldfish. What if the crackers are accurate?
@GrantTanaka: Went to an Air & Space museum today, nothing was in there. I asked "So what's the exhibit?" & the guy was like "You're breathing it, man."
@WheelTod: I once accidentally broke up with a girl on a broken-down train, when I said "I don't think this is going anywhere."