@BillPelicanBros: I've got a black eye, a $200 fine and I've been listed on a register...turns out taking candy from a baby wasn't so easy after all.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@michaelajeffery: ME: Why does my stomach hurt? WebMD: Because of that Ouija board you messed with in the fourth grade, probably.
@NoogsCorner: Take Dr. Seuss, make him a black midget with chronic asthma and give him access to Urban Dictionary. Behold, Lil' Wayne.
@PanettaSexyTime: This spider just got away from me because I made the classic villain mistake of telling him my whole evil plan before killing him.
@abbycohenwl: Watch me get this baby up to 90 miles per hour! - inventor of the baby catapult minutes before he was arrested