@doctorveritas: "I've got chills. They're multiplying." "Sir, you're going into shock. Please stop narrating--" "And I'm losing control." "Sir!"
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@Tmoney68: At some point, a guy looked at an onion that was clearly purple & called it red. AND WE'RE JUST SITTING HERE LETTING IT HAPPEN.
@duplicitron: I do shrugs at the gym with like 400 pounds just to show everyone how hard I don't care.
@DustinSiskey: One time my 4yr old got so mad at my wife he yelled, "YOU'RE RABBIT FROM WINNIE THE POOH!" Best.Insult.Ever.
@TheCatWhisprer: Are you supposed to wear the fanny pack over the gut or underneath it? I don't want to look like a dork.