@doctorveritas: "I've got chills. They're multiplying." "Sir, you're going into shock. Please stop narrating--" "And I'm losing control." "Sir!"
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@StinkyGr33n: 🎵Whooooaaaa, I'm halfway therrreee WHOOOAAAA, LOSING ALL MY HAIRRRR Take this wig, we'll fake it I swearrrrr WHOAOHH, LOSING ALL MY HAIRRR🎶
@murrman5: lower my casket into the ground and play "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" If you see someone not singing the Wimba Way part, kick them out.
@huntigula: [1st date] Her: so u play piano? Him: yep Her: is it hard? Him: that's pretty forward but yeah, as a rock Her: I meant playing piano Him: oh
@KalvinMacleod: [pet store] COP: someone's been stealing puppies OWNER: OMG now I’m missing another one ME: who would do such a thing *shirt starts barking*