@KalvinMacleod: I've got good news and bad news. The good news is this tweet is almost over. The bad news is you read the whole thing.
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@ericsshadow: "dad, what does extravagant mean?" idk son. why don't you ... [i turn to my wife using $100 bills to light the fireplace] ask your mother
@SatansTongue: *Sleeping Beauty gives rotten apple to Obama* *Obama faints* Only a kiss from his one true love will save him *Biden takes out lipstick*
@DiamondLou69: Is a person diagnosed with a Multiple Personality Disorder able to get a group rate from their therapist? Just asking for some friends.