@Tmoney68: I've GOT to get a life stenographer. It'd be great to say, "Betty, read back last night so I can see why I put a skillet on my nightstand."
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@sucittaM: My wife thinks I'm stupid for using Twitter so much. But I think she's stupid for marrying me, so I think we all know who won this argument.
@ThaJawn: *gives up horoscopes for Lent *caves and reads horoscope "You are weak willed and lack conviction"
@BuckyIsotope: The ending for Toy Story 3 only Andy sells his toys to get weed money and makes a bong out of Mr. Potato Head.
@notfaizzy: waiter: what would you like to order, sir? me: a naked salad, please. waiter: ... me: you know, no dressing.