@PFitzpa: I've got to go guys. Yesterday I bought a new shampoo that's supposed to change my life.
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@PussycatPlace: If you think my grey hair tells a story, you should see the unmarked graves in my back yard.
@sad_tree: *returns tent to Target* CASHIER: What was the problem? ME: The packing implied that there would be a family that loves me inside the tent
@trumpetcake: I melted down all my various rewards cards into a universal "Rewards Dagger" that gets me a discount everywhere.
@Beer4AGoodTime: I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive, "Hi".