@Tuna_Lover: I've gotta go. This bottle of vodka isn't gonna get arrested all by itself.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@fro_vo: [cruise] Me: boats freak me out Wife: listen to some music M: how W: there’s a band on ship M: a what W: a band on ship M: *jumps overboard*
@Home_Halfway: "Let's do 5 sets of squats & then try lifting for an hour. It looks like you got out of shape after your dad died" ~ Really personal trainer
@envydatropic: Be nice to Canadians, American tweeters. We're going to need somewhere to go after this next election
@krisv_723: Sometimes when I'm driving I'm overcome with an urge to run into an overpass pillar. Anyway, I'm Kris & I'll be your Uber driver.