@shutupmikeginn: I've had 6 cups of coffee and am about to shave my pet cactus
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@RamblingMachine: I told my BF I dreamt he got me a ring for my birthday. Later, I found a wrapped box from him, with a book entitled "the meaning of dreams".
@simoncholland: I'm sorry you're breaking up [static sound] I'm about to go through a tunnel. Dad, we're right in front of you Uh..... go ask your mom.
@Brampersandon_: [COPS] *into radio* We've got a drunk man in the park who thinks he's a lion tamer. "SIR! PUT THE WHIP DOWN & STEP AWAY FROM THE CAROUSEL!"
@anerdonfire2: Look dude, I'm going to need to see alot more chest hair and jewelry if you want into my Disco party