@shutupmikeginn: I've had 6 cups of coffee and am about to shave my pet cactus
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@bourgeoisalien: My cat just wrote the Great American Novel. Let me read you a page, "Meow meow meow meow meow meow." Dunno, think it's a little pretentious.
@SirEviscerate: Due to a gypsy curse, I gain weight each time I consume more calories than are burned by my basal metabolic rate plus daily activities.
@shivkumarrx: What should you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant???? #RT