@mattZillaaaa: I've had about 13 beers so I guess I'll give myself a haircut
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@StinkyGr33n: My co-worker said he's bleeding out of his ear. "That time of the month?" I replied. He's not amused.
@causticbob: I went to the local art museum, I really enjoyed it and took lots of pictures. But unfortunately I'm now banned until I bring them back.
@Jesssicle: *brushes teeth for seventeen hours straight before dentist appointment* "Jessica, there is an entire Oreo behind your second molar."
@AsgardianRose: Her: We had the baby! She is 7lbs 3oz, born at 9:08am. We'll be naming her tomorrow. Me: Tomorrow is a terrible name for a baby, tbh.