@weinerdog4life: I've had like 6 red bulls, so of course I'm vacuuming the front yard.
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@funnybeachgirl: Friday night plans *break into plastic surgeon's office *put goldfish in the silicone implants *sneak away undetected *giggle like a maniac
@causticbob: A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
@bridger_w: "Oh, no. No, no, no. Are you kidding me?" -First thing I would say if someone raised me from the dead
@TitaniumToplass: DiCaprio movie endings; Shutter Island: is he dead? Titanic: is the boat dead? Romeo & Juliet: is everyone dead? Inception: am I dead?