@PinkCamoTO: I've had my phone battery die at a family function. Nothing scares me now.
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@silent_musings: I have an oven with a 'stop time' button. It's probably meant to be 'stop timer' but I don't touch it, just in case.
@Coolisiana: (Date) "What's wrong?" Oh nothing I'm just a nervous hummer "Aw how cute!!" *perfectly hums the entire Jurassic Park theme at full volume*
@iLikeCatShirts: It's that pottery scene from Ghost except it's me standing behind the Subway sandwich artist helping him make my sandwich.
@GrantTanaka: Wife: It's like every man on earth has to share one brain Me: [can't think of a good comeback because it's not my turn to use the brain]