@PinkCamoTO: I've had my phone battery die at a family function. Nothing scares me now.
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@mrkoodge: *at an AA meeting* "Hi, I'm Andy and I have a drinking problem. I have 2 hands and only 1 mouth. Lol." *gets aggressively escorted out*
@FullGrownChris: "Where are you all going?" A lifeboat. The Titanic is sinking. "You guys are booked til 2. Trust me, this'll be great exposure for your band
@CEHudspeth: "I can try" is a great response to invitations because you're not even committing to trying.