@SamGrittner: I've honestly never been more disappointed in life than when I found out that the Miami Dolphin football team was made up entirely of people
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@SwedishCanary: I had a call from a charity asking me to donate old clothes for starving people. I told them anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving
@envydatropic: I'm at the age where "pop, lock, and drop" is about my knee giving out instead of dance moves
@JasonLastname: I've done hundreds of crossword puzzles over the years, but just this morning I noticed they provide clues.
@AristotlesNZ: Old Testament: Death, plagues, vengeance New Testament: Forgiveness, love, wants you to call home Having a kid really mellowed God out.