@JulianLeeComedy: I've just had to reset my password to Delicate Luggage Handler as I was told it had to be case sensitive.
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@Parentpains: In Canada, a drive by shooting is just a guy using finger guns while winking at a chick he has no chance with.
@sarcasticmommy4: My family went camping & left me home alone, like I'd be missing out. Oh please, don't leave me home with electricity & running water.
@TeaAndCopy: WIFE: Kate's new baby is 7lbs 11oz ME: WIFE: Roughly ½ a stone ME: WIFE: 3½ kilos ME: WIFE: [sigh] a four pack of beer ME: Oh cool
@KalvinMacleod: [skydiving, first jump] INSTRUCTOR: everyone ready? EAGLE: yes. HAWK: check. SPARROW: ready. PENGUIN: this is a really bad idea.