@ClearlyUnwell: I've just realised that I've got one of those cool body types that can eat whatever I want and get fat.
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@samuelhlowe: If your name is spelled Duhniayle, don't hate me when I mispronounce it. Hate your parents & their ridiculous spelling decisions.
@TheMichaelRock: The only way I want to see your ultrasound picture is if you're having a velociraptor.
@david8hughes: [phone rings] "Is your refrigerator running?" *looks over at fridge holding a lighter up to a spoon* "I don't know what he's doing anymore."
@2tickytacky: Mom made me take Millie to the prom. With her dark hair and big, brown eyes, I didn't argue. Horseshoes can sure wreck a gymnasium floor.