@ClearlyUnwell: I've just realised that I've got one of those cool body types that can eat whatever I want and get fat.
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@ItsAndyRyan: Satan's greatest trick is convincing you he's not real but there's a quality drop-off after that. No. 2 is pretending his thumb is your nose
@FrizerkaSandra: There is nothing in the world that lowers your IQ faster than trying to use someone else's coffee machine.
@XplodingUnicorn: My boss said he wanted the fire drill to be as realistic as possible, but then he yelled at me for looting. Make up your mind, bro.