@KatieBurnett: I've just seen a girl post a selfie with her dead grandma on facebook and thousands have commented "rip". Stop the internet, I wanna get off
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@Breadery: Play The Bee Gees loudly several times a day from your home so that if you have to kill someone the sounds won't be unusual.
@heidi420x: I don't need to be rich, it would just be nice to live in a neighborhood where I could be confident that that noise was definitely fireworks
@Sheginger: My healthy friend invites me to dinner Me: But you said pasta. Her: The zucchini IS the pasta. Isn't that cool? Me: Yep. More wine please.