@NYC_Blonde: I've kissed so many frogs trying to find a prince that I've actually discovered several new species.
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@notfaizzy: ...her name was April, and her only son went on to become a comedian but everyone just called him: April's fool.
@TjSmooth0: *job interview* "Youre 30? Why haven't you accomplished your life goals?" "Tbh I thought the Mayan apocalypse was real. No plan past that."
@LackOfShame: While sitting on the beach, 16 told me he is going to go under the pier with his girlfriend and catch crabs. They grow up so fast.