@BlACk__ThRoaT: I've known my drug dealer since I was this high.
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@dafloydsta: When a coworker says "This is all Greek to me", I always assume they want me to punch them right in their throatopolis.
@joejwest: COP: Give back the money you stole ME: Already spent it COP: On what? ME: Karate lessons which [does vague swishes w/ hand] I did not attend
@MakesYouGiggle: Dear people with resolutions, Please bring all your unwanted.. bread, junk food, soda, drugs, and alcohol to my house. Thanks.