@Papa_Mex: I've learned a lot about women. Ex: if you're going to the hospital for a gunshot wound & she asks for tampons, you'd better stop on the way
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@sumpeoplelikeit: If you ask me where your glasses are, and they're on your head, I will help you look for them forever.
@FuckabillyRex: Just apologized to my dog for being a crazy person, and I could tell by the way she didn't respond that she's been thinking it for a while.
@RealDMK: "Daddy, I want to watch Dora." Sweetie this is Dora. It's the one where she plays an NBA basketball game against the Brooklyn Nets
@dreamsinchocola: When I undress there is a radiant shower that falls. Not of money or glitter, but of dog hair.