@imadepoopstoday: I've learned that you can buy a kitten with no problem, but you have to come back at a different time to buy the juicer.
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@0point5twins: In phone books, "assisted living" is next to "assassin", so be more careful than I was, hiring someone to 'take care of grandma'.
@causticbob: Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds super fun if you don't know what either of those things are.
@itshotterhere: Never trust someone who says you're more important than cheese. It's an obvious lie.