@glu_ben: I've limited my friends to 3 people that know how to split a dinner bill w/o causing a fiasco and life has been awesome since.
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@Reverend_Scott: [interview] "What's your strongest trait?" My fingers. "No, like... Are you pinching me??" GIVE ME [fighting to maintain pinch] THE JOB
@boring_as_heck: I'll take "That's Not A Category" for $200, Alex. "That's not a category." Yes, that's right. "That's not a category." I chose that, yes.
@LackOfShame: Sorry I ate all your cake after you passed out and then drew your angry eyebrows on so you'd be ready to discuss it when you woke up.
@punmagnate: What idiot called it a meal of light colored carnival bus tickets of appropriate price and not a fair fair fair fare fare