@ericsshadow: I've made 2 terrible decisions in my life and they're both outside throwing rocks at the new neighbors.
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@Prof_BrianCocks: "14 years, £20 billion later and my team have finally finished building a Large Hadron Kaleidoscope." "You mean Collider?" "Oh shit!"
@BavlyOlwy: Whoever lost a bundle of $20 bills tied up in a rubber band..I found the rubber band..
@truegritrumble: BOSS: I'm firing you. ME: Thank heavens! BOSS: Why else would I call you here? ME: Thought I was losing my job *puts on helmet* BOSS: Lol. No. *helps me into cannon* Who else would do this?
@cogentanalysis: Sorry, guy outside grocery store with a heavy bag and one arm in a sling, but I can't help you. Ted Bundy ruined that for everyone.