@lucidchemistry: I've mastered the art of knowing what not to say...not saying it, whole different story
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheMichaelRock: 8yo [looking at a poorly wrapped gift] was Santa drunk when he wrapped this? Me: that's purely speculation
@CindyMeakin: What did the boy with no hands get for christmas? Gloves! Just kidding, I don't know what he got. He hasn't opened it yet.
@ddsmidt: You would think my neighbors would appreciate me petting their dogs every day. But nooooo, they’re too worried about how I keep getting into their house.