@lucidchemistry: I've mastered the art of knowing what not to say...not saying it, whole different story
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@fuzzlime: *finally gets comfortable with you* *starts whispering in your ear* "oooo baby I can recite all my phobias in alpha order"
@wife_housy: Hubs says when I drink I'm "too loud" and use too many "big words." WELL I'M SORRY IF MY VOCIFEROUS GRANDILOQUENCE BOTHERS YOU!!
@TheSweetestD_: The only difference between a psychiatrist and a drug dealer is that the drug dealer doesn't make you wait an hour.
@ShesARealGenius: ME: Brad's here HUSBAND: Brad who needs space or Brad who's paranoid about being murdered? BRAD: OMG u 2 are smothering me ME: I've no idea