@IamEnidColeslaw: I've matured a lot. For example, I used to listen to Fall Out Boy and break stuff, but now I listen to Mozart and break stuff
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@PortRooster: Niece (4): Uncle, what do you get if you mix blue and purple? Me: Blurple. *She walks away satisfied and amazed at all the things I "know"
@Quartzjixler: There are many effective ways of inviting me to your event but doing it on Facebook is definitely not one of them.
@BreadFoster: I "pet zone" girls. It's like the friend zone, but, I only hang out if your dog will be there.