@jergarl: I've never actually finished the song "Rock Your Body" by Justin Timberlake because I'm afraid I'll be naked by the end.
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@bazlyons: They say punching a shark is an effective way to prevent a shark attack but my preference would still be 'land'
@dafloydsta: [on a date] *wonders if she'll steal my fries while I use the restroom* *shakes Magic 8 ball* "YES" *takes plate of fries with me*
@ImmorallyFixate: Hand me the Phillips screwdriver, babe. No, the Phillips. NO. Ok look, hand me the thing you stabbed me with on New Year's. Thanks pumpkin!
@SonofConway: When tragedy strikes your community, McDonald's will still be there to take your money.